Beauty King of New York
by Mondie
Summary: “dat’s da LAST time i weah a thong,” [spot] complained to mush, who nodded knowingly. (*FLUFF WARNING*)
1. Our Lovely Contestants

**Beauty King Of New York**

**((Chapter 1 - Our Lovely Contestants))**

**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own the Newsies in the story. **tear** But I do own the idea and any original characters, like Mondie, yeah, that's definitely, definitely me. Okies? Okies.**

          "La-la-la-LA-la-la-la," sang Davey, warming up his voice.

          "Is dis bow tie on straight?" Racetrack asked Jack, tightening one of Denton's bow ties. (The striped one from the trial, in case you were wondering)

          "Okay, Kimberly," Spot whispered to his cane, Kimberly. He squinted his eyes closed and rubbed the golden tip for luck. "Don' let me down now."

          It was the afternoon of the Mr. Beauty King Of New York contest, and all of our favorite newsies were getting ready.

          "Getreadygetreadygetready…" the stagehand said, all in one breath.

          Suddenly music started onstage.

          "EEEEEE!" screamed Kid Blink, grabbing ahold of Mush's arm. "I'm so noivous!"

          The host, a beautiful goil named Mondie, began screeching the Mr. Beauty King Of New York song onstage, and the boys filed out behind her, doing choreographed pirouettes and tapdancing numbers. Mondie didn't have the best voice, but whatever she lacked in talent, she made up for in effort.

_Ain't he gorgeous?_

_Oh, yes, remarkably so_

_Ain't he stunning?_

_With him, can I have a go? **Wink wink, nudge nudge**_

_He's beauty and brains_

_And of course brawn_

_He's the one I want to wake up_

_Next to in the dawn_

_I loooooooooooooooooooove him_

_He's Mr. Beauty King Of New York!_

          The audience, who were basically customers of Medda's who thought they were gonna be watching a Vaudeville act instead, half-heartedly applauded. Medda had agreed to let the pageant be held at Irving Hall, but had forgotten to mention it to her customers. Mondie had locked the door and not let anyone leave after they entered, because she herself had forgotten to advertise (OOPS).

As soon as they were done dancing, the boys ran back offstage.

          "Let's meet the contestants!" Mondie cried, pretending to have to speak over the applause, even though it had died out almost immediately and people were checking their watches. "Standing at 4'0 even, he's the tough leader of Brooklyn who intimidates everyone! Meet… SPOT CONLON!"

          "Hey! I ain't four foot! I'se four foot two!" Spot protested while coming out on the stage, waving Kimberly The Cane threatingly at Mondie, but then smiling largely as the spotlight turned on him. There was no way he was letting MANHATTAN win this contest. He struck a pretty pose, popping out one leg and sticking out his chest.

          "And… the boy who'll use his prize money to go to Santa Fe! The cowboy-wannabe, and little Les's hero, JACK KELLY!"

          Jack smiled so wide as the spotlight turned on him that his face cracked.

          "Ew," said Mondie, as blood splashed all over the place. "Jack Kelly, you're disqualified. No Santa Fe for you!" She cackled loudly.

          Jack burst into tears and ran from the stage.

          Sarah Jacobs came out with a mop and bucket and began to clean up the blood. Mondie cackled at this, too. "Haha, I get to be the host of the beauty pageant, and SARAH HAS TO MOP!" she screamed.

          Sarah grimaced and left as soon as she could.

          "NOW… the boy who's already won MY heart," said Mondie, grinning, "the backflip wonder! The boy with the Brillo pad hair! Meet the hottest guy alive, MUSH MEYERS!"

          Mush did a backflip and then blew a kiss to Mondie. Mondie blushed and nearly ran over and jumped him, before remembering she was the host and needed to introduce everyone else.

          "Next up, we've got a sweet crippled optimist who always minds his manners! Everybody, clap for—"

          "NO! WAIT!" Kid Blink yelled.

          Mondie stopped. "What is it, Kid?"

          "_I'm supposed to be next."_

          "No, you're not. My cue cards say Crutchy is next."

          "No! I'm _always after Mush. It's in the rules of the Newsies Movie. If there is Mush in a shot, I'm in it too." The stagehand ran onstage holding a copy of the Rules Of The Newsies Movie book. Mondie read it in fifty-one seconds, then handed it back._

          "It seems that Kid Blink is right, he *is* always after Mush."

          Crutchy got mad and stormed off the stage.

          "Everyone clap for… the kid who wears an eyepatch! KID BLINK!"

          Kid Blink did a twirl and ended with his hands in the air, on one knee. No one clapped. One man screamed, but that could also have been because Jack, who was bitter about not getting to be in the show, was going around and bleeding on the audience members.

          "And _now," said Mondie, "The sweet crippled optimist who always minds his manners! CRUTCHY!"_

          "NO!" screamed Crutchy. "I HATE YOU ALL!"

          "Okay," Mondie amended. "The angry crippled pessimist who says to shove manners! CRUTCHY!"

          Crutchy thought about it and decided that was more reasonable, and came limping out on the stage. He smiled prettily.

          "Next is The Walkin' Mouth! DAVEY JACOBS!" Davey came onto the stage, and everyone in the audience shrieked this time. That's because Davey had gotten surgery (or else fell into something biohazardous) since the first dance number and had become an actual walking mouth: he now consisted of only a mouth with legs.

          "And, last contestant in our contest, he's a gambler with a heart as nice as his wit is quick! RACETRACK HIGGINS!" Racetrack came out on stage and smiled as wide as he could, considering he was next to a giant mouth with legs. He was glad he'd worn Denton's bow tie.

          "Aren't they lovely?" asked Mondie. "Now we will take a five-hour break, so the contestants can beautify themselves for the evening-wear portion of tonight's program!"

          The audience could only groan. Especially those covered in blood.


	2. Evening Wear

**Shoutouts!**

**kimimay85 )( Haha your review was funny. :D YAY NO SCHOOL UNTIL MONDAY! SCORE! This excites me to no end. So does Mush. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! **Mondie bursts into hysterical laughter** Oh, sorry. We should definitely go shopping or something soon… yay for almost-Christmas time!**

**Shimmerwings )( You think you've found disgusting? AHAHAHA! Just you wait, m'dear, just you wait.**

**bittersweet )( THAT was mind-numbing, that comment of yours—"I wouldn't mind [Jack] bleeding on me. ::sigh::" Erm… SUUUUUUUUURE, Sarah. Sure. ;D Thanks for the review kiddo! Loveth youeth!**

**misprint )( Aw, remember when you used to be all about Spotty and now you're all about Racey? HOO HA! It's a good thing it happened AFTER you started writing Eclipse/Bloodflame, because I don't think Racey would be a good evil scary vampire. Yes, I enjoy pessimistic Crutchy as well…LOL I loved your signoff as "here's your bowtie" HAHA! Unfortunately, Racey doesn't wear a bow tie in the evening wear portion… :( But no fears, it will be back. Sometime. Hopefully. ECLIPSE/BLOODFLAME? GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I need it right now! But love ya Misers! I wrote you an email, feel special!**

**Crunch )( **Mondie looks around in confusion** I've been missing?? I wasn't aware! Mush probably kidnapped me but I had so much fun fooling around with him I forgot I was kidnapped. That's what usually happens. Thank you for the splendiferous review! And for the record, I don't know why I made Jack's face crack. It was probably very disturbing to everyone else. But it just happened. **Mondie shrugs****

**SparksdaNewsie )( Thankssssssss!! :D :D :D Wahoo! I just said "thanks" as if I were the snake in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone! WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!**

**Aki )( Sometimes I really amaze myself… I don't know where half of this stuff comes from… I'm pretty sure my fingers have an entirely different brain than the rest of my body. They just type whatever the heck they want. Confusing little appendages. Anyhow. Thanks for the compliments! And Untouchables is coming… sometime… I'm rather stuck. It sucks. I have too much to fit in chappy 10 and it's not fitting itself in there well.**

**Thumbsucker Snitch )( Haha thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **Mondie hands her a purple Snitch because Mushy got into the crayons again****

**Pegasus )( Sorry, but Jack might make a comeback… sometime… if his cracked face stops bleeding. Heh. Thanks for the review, Peggy Sue! (Wow, that rhymed!!)) I miss ya kid!**

**rumor )( I have no idea how I come up with this stuff. Odd, ain't it? Thanks for the wonderful review! I'm rather enjoying writing this story so far, which I must say frightens ME. **Mondie shrugs** But thanks so much!**

**Spotted One )( I wasn't aware there was drama in this! Oh, maybe Blinky… he's a rather dramatic boy. Anyhow. Thanks for the review! I am happy to review your story. I like it. And I generally don't like Jack stories ((Side note: See exploding, bleeding Jack in chapter 1.)) Thanks again!**

**Beauty King Of New York**

**((Chapter 2 - Evening Wear))**

          Mondie smiled as she re-took the stage five hours and twenty-seven minutes later. "Sorry that took so long, but Racetrack misplaced Denton's pink dress," she said apologetically. "And now! Here come our lovely contestants! This will count for 0.05% of their overall score."

          "Den why is we watchin' it?" screamed one man in the audience. He had the misfortune of sitting right NEXT to Bleeding Jackie Boy.

          Mondie glared at him. "BECAUSE." She cleared her throat and clapped her hands. Instantly the stagehand pressed the play button on the CD player backstage and "Lady Marmalade", the Moulin Rouge version, began to play.

          Out onto the stage stepped Spot Conlon. Mondie grabbed the note card he handed her with his vitals. "Spot is wearing a Victoria's Secret camisole-and-thong set, in royal blue, with red suspenders. His slippers are Wal-Mart generic. And accessory-wise, he is holding Kimberly The Cane and his pink fuzzy slingshot." Mondie stopped reading and looked up. "Wait a minute, Spot, you're supposed to be wearing EVENING wear… like, dresses…"

          Spot winked. "Dis is all dat da goils I know weah in da evenin's, Mondie."

          Mondie shrugged. "All righty! Everyone, please clap for… SPOT!"

          No one applauded until Spot jumped into the crowd and began wielding his cane at them threateningly. Then Mr. Bled Upon, who didn't want to make any OTHER newsies bleed on him, clapped hesitantly.

          Spot then happily climbed back on the stage and went backstage. "Dat's da LAST time I weah a thong," he complained to Mush, who nodded knowingly.

          "Next up is Mush Meyers!" Mush came out and smiled charmingly at Mondie, handing her his card. "Mush is wearing a gold Versace gown. And yes, it is made of real gold." Mondie stopped reading so she too could look on the beautiful Versace gown, and was startled to see a potato sack with what looked suspiciously like gold crayon marks scribbled on it. "The sequins are, yes, made of rubies." She looked up again and saw red sequins, which were definitely _not rubies, but K-Mart specials. "And his shoes are crimson leather Doc Martens." She looked at his footwear, which, she was glad to note, were actually Doc Martens. "Let's hear it for the boy with an imagination, Mush!" Jack clapped, but only because Mush always had found him funny, for some odd reason._

          "AND let's all welcome back to the stage the lovely Mr. Kid Blink!" Mondie said, and out walked Kid Blink. He blew a kiss to the audience and winked. Actually, he MIGHT have blinked, but it's hard to tell the difference when someone wears an eye patch over one of his eyes. Mondie began to read his card while he sashayed around the stage. "Blink is wearing a beautiful … potato sack. With red K-mart special sequins. And crimson leather Doc Martens." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the card, the looked at Blink with raised eyebrows. Blink was wearing a beautiful golden Versace gown. As he came closer, Mondie could tell it was made of real gold, and that the sequins were real rubies. And of course, his shoes were correct. "Uh, Blink, I think you and Mush switched cards."

          "No, we didn't!" Blink said, between his teeth as he kept his smile plastered on.

          "All right…" Mondie said, shaking her head in wonder. "Everyone, the beautiful Kid Blink!" Kid Blink did a curtsy and ran offstage.

          "And next up," Mondie said, hardly able to contain her excitement, "is CRUTCHY!" Crutchy swaggered around the stage, flirting with the audience, but still scowling, since he'd decided he was pessimistic, while Mondie read his card. "Crutchy is wearing a dark green gown he found at Goodwill, with embroidery done by the character Hester Prynne in the book _The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. The crutch he's using for this portion was fashioned by the Master o' Fashion himself, Mr. Bryan Denton, in a fashion that is fashionably fashioned after the fashions of the Queen of England!" Everyone oohed and aahed over the spectacular fashion of the crutch. (In all honesty, it was a plain crutch with a strand of tinsel tied on it, but that didn't particularly matter.) Crutchy got plenty of applause, and stuck his tongue out at Kid Blink as he passed him going backstage._

          "Oooh, I bet Crutchy's gonna win," Kid Blink whispered to Mush angrily. "He always gets everything!"

          "I know!" agreed Mush, putting his hands on his hips in his classic gossip pose. "I heard that last week, he got to eat a free lunch at Tibby's! For no reason!"

          "You're JOKING!" gasped Kid Blink. "Mush, we've got to stop him! This is out of control!"

          "You're right!" Mush agreed, nodding emphatically. "But how…"

          Meanwhile, Mondie was introducing Davey onstage. He had pulled on a pair of fishnet stockings and red high heels, and had smeared coral pink lipstick on his mouth. "That is the most beautiful Walking Mouth I have ever seen," Mondie exclaimed, feeling a bit odd, because she couldn't exactly look into Davey's eyes for the compliment (as he had no eyes). He flashed a terrifically huge smile, however, and all was okay.

          "AND now," Mondie said emphatically, waving her arms around like a windmill, "the moment you've ALL been waiting for!" Crickets chirped in the back of the theatre. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAACETRACK HIGGINS!"

          Nearly crying from the gorgeousness of his intro, Racetrack came forward, blowing kisses to the audience. He was wearing the most gorgeous pink dress Denton owned. (And since Denty owns roughly thirty gorgeous pink gowns, that's saying something.) The crowd couldn't help it, and gasped. That's because Racetrack just looked so undeniably _pretty!_

          "Tell us how you feel, Race," Mondie said teasingly.

          A beat started in the background from the stagehand's stereo, and Race began flitting about the stage. Mush, Blink, and Davey appeared to sing backup.

          "I feel pretty, oh-so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and BRIIIIIIGHT! And I pity any boy who isn't me tonight," Race sang, flitting about the stage while two boys wearing nearly identical dresses (though one was really a potato sack) and a large mouth with legs echoed him in the corner. It would have been frightening and disturbing… but after all, this _was_ a fashion show that Mondie was in charge of. Race continued to sing. "I feel stunning, and entrancing, feel like running and dancing for JOOOOOOOOOOOY! For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful… eh… GOIL!"

          Mondie had to wipe tears from her eyes. "Racetrack, I can hardly wait for your submission into the talent portion tonight!"

          Mush stared in disbelief at Mondie. Mondie was HIS! How _dare she compliment Racetrack! He looked at Kid Blink, who could only shake his head._

          And thus, the plot against Crutchy and Racetrack, sponsored by Kid Blink and Mush, began.


End file.
